If I could just say one thing about that whole Jared the Subway man scandal, I think it’s too damn bad. So what if he’s sexually attracted to them young teenagers? It ain’t got nothin to do with selling subs so I ain’t judgin. I know I won’t be the first to say it, after all, he was a married man but holy shmokes is he good lookin! See! That’s why I can’t be judgin who we are sexually attracted to. I didn’t go to no school to be a judge and I ain’t no god so I got no place sayin bad things about him. Now, I’m not one to sit in front of the t.v. for days at a time but when I finally did catch a glimpse of him on one of them samwich commercials, I was blown away!
Now don’t get me wrong, I snagged me a husband many years ago and we got hitched in a park. It was fine and all but I can’t really say I’ve been a happily married woman. That’s probably why I felt so strong when I saw them baby blues(?) greens(?) on Jared Fogle. And that smile is to die for! Hot damn.
I’d never as much as holler at another man. That’s not who I am as a woman. It’s just that my husband don’t know how to use the computer so there ain’t no way he can see what I’m doin. He don’t really know what the internet is. I know, I know he’s not quite with the times, but he still gets up at the butt crack of dawn and provides. He’s a sewer worker. Hard workin man but computers just ain’t part of his vocabulary. I’m assuming since Jared was so famous he prolly knows a thing or two about using the internet. I’m just assumin is all.
Why aren’t there more men out there like him? He’s a real catch. He’s got millions, I bet! Plus all these years he’s been eatin up them delicious subs. He probably gets ’em for free, lucky dog! It’s funny cause no matter how much turkey or ham or bologna I buy I can’t ever seem to make it taste like that Subway makes ’em. It don’t matter, I can put lot’s of mayonnaise and mustard all over it, but it don’t make no difference. I can’t do it right. Subway knew what they was doin when they hired a sex symbol to sell their samwiches. Sex sells and Jared knows how to work it.
I bought me a subway calendar a couple years ago. It ain’t nothin special but it did have a picture of Jared on it plus lot’s of photos of turkey subs n ham and cheese samwiches. I really like that sweet onion chicken teriyaki thing they got out. It’s good as hell, but one time I did get a real grisly piece of chicken. When they microwaved it I think they put it on too high or somethin. A real bummer, but I just spit that sucker out and kept eatin. I don’t waste my money like that – throwin perfectly good food in the trash.
Now I know I’m a little late with sharing my perspective on the Jared ordeal, but better late than never. It’s important to me that people know we don’t all judge him for what he likes. Lord knows I’ve been judged just for eatin at Subway but I’m a woman who knows what she likes! I can’t help it that I like ham and turkey, chicken and roast beef and sauces all between pieces of bread smashed together. They also put green, crunchy things on it. I don’t care for that much but it don’t got much flavor so I can deal with it. It all tastes good and it’s fresh cause they make it right in front of you. That’s how you know when somethin is fresh – exposed meat, cheese and other delicious toppings that go on samiches are sitting out waiting for somebody to slap ’em together. I get it made right in front of me and I like that. No gimmicks.
As long as Jared ain’t havin sex with them samwiches, I’ll keep eatin there. Hell, maybe he has slept with all of ’em including the ham but at least they’re fresh. I know I ain’t fresh after a good rompin. I’d let Jared jump my bones any day!